How to know when it’s enough?

How to know it’s time for a change? I have been feeling unhappy with myself and my life for years. No matter how hard I’ve tried to make my life enjoyable, fight against complaining and feeling depressed and anxious and find the beauty and shine in my life I’ve always found myself from a hole feeling those feelings and complaining. I have gone through a lot in this life but now it really is time when I know I have no other choice but to make some big move in my life. I can’t strain anyone with my anxiousness anymore and I don’t want to! I know what I would like my life to be like but I just don’t know how to get there. I got to live for a dream for some short time but that dream wasn’t ment to stay in my life. It wasn’t my destiny.

Firstly I know it starts to be time to leave this little town where I live and a working place where I am very miserable (work colleagues and my apartment are nice but anything else really sucks). I have been thinking about leaving this place for years already but for some reason (tired of moving often and starting from the beginning and out of fear) I’ve stayed here. But now I feel I’m against a wall – either I’ll emotionally and mentally die here or I will just take my belongings, move to a new place and try in a new working place. It won’t change my life for the better instantly or maybe even at all but I think it’s still better than staying here.

 

So how to know you need to make a change in your life? You feel anxious, sad and angry all the time, you feel you are stuck, you are afraid if this is it (you are questioning if life just really is this gray and if feeling miserable all the time is called normal life), you don’t really get excited or interested about anything anymore, you are isolating yourself from social relationships and your life gets smaller and smaller all the time. Then it really is time to make a change! I know making big changes in your life is very stressful but if you are this low then it’s better to take the risk and try something new. Now I need to start to make a plan what will I do. Luckily there are people out there who are telling how they got their life back – people like Sonia Ricotti who wrote a book “Unsinkable”. I haven’t read it yet but I took part of her webinar called “Bounce back big”. Reading and hearing about other people who bounced back to life gives us hope.

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Be Who You Are: Live Your Dreams

This is difficult and important! I am now trying to find courage and a way to Finally find the real me and FINALLY start to create a life that really truly feels as my own (and not something that others have said I should do or not do etc.). I feel extreme anxious about this because at my age (soon 31 years) most people already have created and found their own life which they can now grow to become stronger and stronger. I’m afraid that the train has left me. BUT we can NEVER lose hope. Anything is possible in life… So let’s start to have courage to be who we are and chase our dreams. The famous actress Helen Mirren (72 years old) said once when they asked what she regrets in life that she should have said “F*** off” much more often πŸ˜€ Meaning that do not give a s**t what others think of you if something feels good to you. That is a great advice!

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Hope

It is a word I have to remind myself often. It is a word that sometimes makes me angry and very irritated feeling it’s just a stupid clichΓ© when people say “never lose your hope”. But in the end the saying is right – without hope life couldn’t continue. Again the word just came up to my mind and this time gave me a good feeling. There really is always hope and we have to keep on going forward, try to do our best in life and Hope that at some point the dream you have been dreaming of for so long can and will come true. We don’t know when – it may take some time but hope – it really keeps the meaning of your life alive. Someday – I HOPE – my dreams will come true.

Wanderlust

I just have this Huge urge to explore this world – different places, different cultures, different kind of nature and everything. I have SO many ideas where to go and it is difficult for me to really stick with one plan and start to make that adventure to become a reality someday (hopefully sooner than later!). The freedays from work are limited so that’s the biggest thing hindering me from pursuing my dreams. (Also the psychological lock that questions if I really am allowed to be happy and live my life in my own way). I also want to use my holidays to go to meet my family, relatives and friends. So how to have time for all of these? πŸ™‚ I’d like to go for example to explore Asian countries, South American countries (test my very basic Spanish skills. Yes I know they speak Portuguese in some countries), also North America would be interesting in many ways, visit countries in Africa AND visit Australia and New Zealand again. And, and, and… These dreams keep me alive in otherwise monotonous life where nothing happens – just work and being mostly by myself. I don’t know what to do with these dreams! πŸ˜€ Where to start and with whom. Time and money are limited. I just figured out one day that my dream job could be an explorer. I was born to learn and to find new things all the time. I was ready to settle down with a guy I was madly in love with but there were too many obstacles so maybe it wasn’t ment to be. Now I can start to chase after my dreams again – which is awesome.
Others buy houses, dogs, fancy cars and start a family. I run on my own searching for new things πŸ™‚ Sometimes it feels very lonely. (I feel I haven’t achieved things people at my age usually have and I feel I am different so it’s difficult to find people who truly share the same passion as me). But I’ve noticed it is my way of living so I will try to keep this habit alive. I though really hope I will also find (and be able to keep) the love of my life. But in the meanwhile “Ladies and gentlemen, fasten your seat belts” πŸ˜€ ❀